“What do you care what other people think?” – Dick Feynman

My Story

I grew up in a devout evangelical family. As a young child I knew that everyone was bad, really bad, but that if I worshiped God, let Jesus into my heart and got saved, God would love me, take care of me, forgive my sins, and one day welcome me into heaven, where we would be happy forever.

As a teenager, I questioned authority and realized that the Bible couldn’t possibly have been written by an omniscient God with modern morality.

If it isn’t all inspired, it’s all up for grabs. People can believe whatever they like.

Even parts that aren’t offensive are contradictory or give bad advice. Jesus threw the moneylenders out of the temple but called meekness a virtue. He encouraged his followers to be improvident.

I chose to ignore it all. Except that I hated myself.

While working on this website, I’ve come to believe that the teaching of human depravity is the source of most of the world’s problems.

Not that I didn’t enjoy myself. At UCLA ($300/semester), I had a blast. Took art history, music appreciation from Nicholas Slonimsky (what a wit), calculus from Raymond Redheffer (and that’s no bull), symbolic logic, and half again as many credits as I needed to graduate, including tennis, and ice skating (twice).

Marched in the Rose Bowl, Grand Marshal Walt Disney rode by in the in the tunnel, not six feet away. The Bruins won over mighty Michigan with a leap over a pile of people into the end zone (a la O. J. Simpson) with seconds to go, while sky-typers decorated the sky with my name. Actually, they were publicizing a James Coburn flick, but what the heck]

After graduation, I worked at Hughes aircraft for a while and attended a couple of lectures on math by Richard Feynman. I soon forgot the math, but his attitude toward problem solving changed my life.

Many years later, while rowing a wherry, I realized that I was in a meditative state and didn’t hate myself any more. With practice, I learned to enter that state whenever I wanted. It let me alleviate feelings of being physically cold or fatigued. Lately, I’ve learned to use it to help in falling asleep.

It’s a portal to neighborly love, happiness, connectedness, and nothingness. I’m continually within it now (except that I’m conscious of my existence).

Dick Feynman and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. are my ultimate heroes

• They got things done.
• They knew how to live

Old Treehugger